Reminiscences
by Roanne
Summary: [DmPp] The diary of Pansy Parkinson and her personal overview. A story about the relationships, the arguments, the heartaches, and the friendships of Hogwarts that get you through it all. Complete.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Harry Potter; all original characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I didn't have any involvement in the creating of the original story – however, several events in this story were created by me.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** This is probably one of my very first fics that I actually stuck to, so if it's not that good, I'll try better next time. I couldn't really think of the right time to fit this story into. I'm also not completely sure if I've 'captured' Pansy's character, but I tried my best. Please R&R, hope you enjoy the story!

_Excuse me, but are you one of the trusted few to read this?_

Well, you should be.

My name is Pansy Parkinson. I am sixteen years old and I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This is my diary, tracing everything I can remember from January and now, December.

I should warn you, though – once you read this, don't repeat anything you have read to anyone else. Everything written down here is completely personal, and shouldn't be told to those who aren't worthy enough to know it – especially those _Mudbloods_.

I didn't write any specific dates. I just kept the page marked, writing down anything I thought I would like to look back at.

I would have written everything in pencil to erase things I regret writing, but I've decided to use a quill and ink. I want these memories to forever be permanent, something a pencil cannot merely do. That's why I wrote them in every single detail I can remember them in.

My personal thoughts, feelings, personal experiences and writing shouldn't be meddled with. It is valuable and completely in my control.

Read everything? I guess you know everything there is to know now.

Yours truly,

_Pansy Parkinson_


	2. January

_**January**_

The coldest winter was slightly hanging onto January.

It felt refreshing at the start of a new year. We held a party in the Slytherin common room that lasted until three in the morning. There was some Firewhisky involved too; this was probably my second time to drink it. Personally, I didn't really like it; although Draco and I drank it together. I finished about 4 cups of it, only because – if Draco's happy, I'm happy. His smile makes me smile.

After the noise died down for a while, most people went to just sit down and take a rest while others decided to dance to some slow music. I felt really pathetic just sitting there watching everyone have a great time. Draco was nowhere in sight, and even if he was, _I wouldn't be able to ask him to dance_, I thought.

But it was a one in a million chance. I didn't even notice him coming; I was just staring at my glass of Firewhisky in my hands; the delicate amber color it possessed. It wasn't until Draco had come up to me. "Pansy, may I have this dance?" He asked me in a graceful voice. Time seemed to pass by for hours and hours until I finally got up to my feet and joined him.

A new song started to play; one by Celestina Warbeck. He placed one of his hands on my waist which sent a thousand jolts up my spine. I held his hand in mine; my head against his chest. I could smell his delicate, musky perfume as I leaned closer and closer. The atmosphere was perfect – everything was perfect – if only it lasted longer.

By the end of the second song, everyone had stopped and started to wander around for a while. But not me. Not Draco. His movements were far more elegant than any those I have ever seen.

But, as with all good things, they come to an end. Nothing lasts forever. The night ended after for what seemed an eternity. I would never forget this night – the glistening chandelier dangling just above us; the beautiful emerald curtains…

The next following week I've been noticing he's been canceling his personal plans to kill some time with me. I was appalled and didn't know what my next move should be. The corridors were filled with students and I barged my way through, looking for Draco, but I couldn't find him anywhere. _These insignificant children won't get out of my way_, I thought.

As I walked my way through the students, my friend Millicent Bulstrode came up to me. You wouldn't call her the most beautiful girl, but she's a good friend. I can remember everything like it was only yesterday.

"Pansy, Draco wanted me to tell you something…"

"Yes, what is it?"

"I'm not entirely sure what it means, he didn't tell me any details whatsoever –"

"Oh, come on, Millicent, just cut to the chase?"

"He said _Cherry Blossom Tree, nine o'clock; make sure no one sees you_. That's it."

And with that simple sentence, she left. I was left there, pondering its meaning.

Somewhere in the courtyard, they laid a beautiful pink, cherry blossom tree. When night had arrived, the petals seemed to be illuminated in the moonlight. With everything else finished on my agenda, and although it was only five thirty, I raced to the Slytherin Common Room.

I've spent probably the longest time in the bathroom that day (besides the night of the Yule Ball, possibly) – spending extra time on my hair and makeup. Well, I had to look appealing, didn't I? If it was going to be a romantic night, I might as well make it worth the time.

It was about eight forty five by the time I was finished. I've just made it in time to the tree. Draco was not there. One minute. Five minutes. _Ten_ minutes – I sank down to my knees. I wonder if he had forgotten me.

But I was wrong. When he was about to reach eleven minutes late, his figure came out of the dark shadows and into the moonlight. He smiled at me, I felt myself smile back. Walking slowly towards him, my legs felt wobbly and I couldn't keep my balance. I fell. He ran up to me in cue and caught me as I barely touched the ground. Blushing in embarrassment, I hesitated and started to fix my hair until his hand stopped mine. "Pansy, don't fret, you look _beautiful_," he said.

And for the rest of that night; we talked about old memories and our childhood lives. Like how he used to run away from me thinking I had cooties. Like how I went up to our mothers while they were drinking tea; telling on him. I liked sitting down at the bottom of the tree, next to him, with the petals flying in front of us. For one precise moment, he placed his hand on my knee; fingers encircling around them. I didn't stop him. I placed mine on top of his and we sat there for a couple of minutes, hours, days, I don't know how long it was – but it was faultless. Absolutely stunning. Perfect enough to impress even a Parkinson.

Just when I thought this night couldn't get any better, when it reached exactly eleven fifty nine, he stood up first. I followed. He placed his hand on my shoulders.

"Thanks for being there for me, Pansy."

And with that, he leaned closer and closer. I saw his blonde hair swing over his forehead as our noses almost touched and finally did. He kissed me and I kissed back. My arms entwined around his neck. It felt magical. I didn't know it was a dream, or some endless fantasy. I suddenly smelled his perfume, and this was it – this was real.

I felt like I was living a fairy tale. Sneaking out at night, being with the one I loved, and a kiss. Not just a kiss, but my first kiss. Midnight made it seem extra special to me.

After jumping into bed that night, I couldn't sleep. I relived how it was like, the feeling of his lips on mine, the wind blowing slightly around us. As I slept, I wanted to have a good dream. The outcome was, I didn't dream about anything. But it's the thought that counts, right? I didn't need a good dream. January already satisfied me.


	3. February

_**February**_

The sunset was smeared with touches of pink and purple.

Earlier that day, they just kept coming and coming – I had no talent at these kinds of things. Draco told me I was good at "telling those Mudbloods off", but I never practiced enough to have this considered as a talent. I have to admit it; Millicent was livelier than I was when it came to snowball fighting.

Snow still remained on the school grounds, but just barely. After Transfiguration (really, I don't see how learning about turning things into inanimate objects will help us in our future) I met up with Millicent and we ran into Theodore Nott. I swear, he needs to just _stay away from me _– it's not like I hate him or anything, I feel like I'm always being watched by him.

Millicent got him to go away with some cursing and we continued to walk towards the courtyard. We ran into Draco. I felt a pink patch develop over my face. I was used to seeing him, but I still felt nervous around him. That's how we got into the snowball fight; we walked outside and found a fresh patch of snow.

I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but…I think Millicent's jealous of me. Not because of my looks or anything like that, but because of my relationship. Because of Draco. She has been too melodramatic when I told her we couldn't hang out because of plans with him. Every time I told her such things, she just walked away without a word.

_Hah_, there are a lot of girls out there that wished they were in my place. I mean, why wouldn't they? Draco's absolutely gorgeous and he's such a loyal friend. I think it's hilarious when I stroke his hair in public and a few girls walk by, glaring at me with anger. Something that makes me feel like we were _meant_ to be together. As they pass by, we give them a couple of our smirks/sneers…that's how we Slytherins do it.

I think my grades are not quite improving…it's not like I care or anything. During the summer when they're sent home, if I have anything possibly lower than 'ACCEPTABLE (A)', my mother would ban me from having any possible communication with my friends for a week. She wants me to grow up to be a well-educated and smart girl, someone 'perfect'. I told her once that no one could be perfect, but she reminded me that I was a Parkinson and that I should be gratifying for it.

After my fourth year, when I got my report card, I was not surprised when I ended up receiving a 'POOR (P)' grade in Divination. How boring can that class possibly _get_?

Valentine's Day was drawing closer and closer. As for me, I've never really made a big deal about this day. But this time was different. Sure, you may think I'm overreacting, but that's your opinion. I didn't know what I should give to Draco. A card would be simple enough, but what if he wanted more than that? Maybe some chocolates will do, but what if he wanted simplicity?

We were rewarded with a Hogsmeade weekend; just before Valentine's Day. This was my chance. I had to lie to Draco and told him I had plans with Millicent; he told me that he didn't mind and would just meet up with me later. I went into Honeydukes first thing; eyes scanning the area.

I've ended up giving him a pink card and a lollipop. I know I could've thought of something more impressive than this, but this was all I had. The card said:

_Happy Valentine's Day, Draco!_

_Thanks for being a great friend._

_I'll look back to this day!_

_Pansy 3_

Maybe the heart was too much? I thought it was too casual. It made me feel even more wretched after the following events; I never knew what was coming.

Back at the Slytherin Common Room when everyone was exchanging Valentines; it was completely crowded with pink frills and delicate red ribbons. Shortly after searching, my eyes stopped straight on target.

But this time, I didn't want to look at Draco. Although, I realized I was staring, but somehow I couldn't stop.

Turned out to be Daphne Greengrass after all. The exclusive box of Chocolate Cauldrons in his hand, wrapped in crimson frills, complete with a card that looked even more luxurious. I couldn't move even if people were shoving me to get out of their path. Surely I've could've gotten a better valentine?

In our third year, Daphne told me she had feelings for Draco. Back then, I was in some sort of competition with her. After we've decided to stop, we weren't really friends anymore and exchanged glares every once in a while. I could see how she felt for him, right there, on the card: _Daphne Greengrass, xoxo._

"Oh, there you are, Pansy," he said smiling like he didn't even see the expression I wore on my face. He popped a Chocolate Cauldron in his mouth, right in front of me. I stared at him for a moment. Draco started to look confused and waved a hand in front of my face to see if I was paying attention. I was, but it didn't please me. "What's that you have there?"

He was pointing to my Valentine card and lollipop.

"It's…nothing…" I looked down at my feet, allowing my bangs to drape over my face. If there was something I didn't want, it was for Draco to see me crying. Even worse, when I was _about to cry_. So I ran. I was never the person to think before making a move first. I could feel Draco and everyone else around me staring in wonder as I ran faster and faster. _Ridiculous_, I thought. It was just Valentine's Day.

I never thought I didn't want to see Draco when I could. But for now, I was wrong.


	4. March

_**March**_

When I was depressed; my mother always told me – "Parkinsons don't cry."

I haven't been writing to her. I've been excluding myself from having any contact with my family, my friends (except Millicent, possibly), and particularly, Draco. As for the card and lollipop, I've never given it to him. It remained there, under my bed, in a little box of mine.

The box contained all sorts of things – useless rubbish, old photographs; telephone numbers and addresses. No one knew about this box, and I would never show it to anyone. Although you would think there was nothing important in that box once you've opened it, I've buried something deep inside there. At the very, very bottom.

A photograph that Narcissa Malfoy took at the park when I was 6, or so, remained there. I was wearing a maroon velvet dress and a cream white bonnet. I looked so happy. And right there, next to me, hand on my shoulder – was a 6 year old Draco in his black dress robes. He looked absolutely adorable, and I couldn't stop the smile that was gradually forming on my face. That day was my 6th birthday.

Looking back at that picture made me feel guilty. Draco and I were the best of friends back then. We had not a care in the world; I didn't feel like I was being pulled from all directions. There was nothing to worry about.

After the Valentine's Day incident, I ran to my bed and cried. My mothers' preferred phrase was breaking its promise. My mind was losing its control. That image – that very image of Draco back downstairs; refused to let go. My tears started rolling down faster as I pictured him with Daphne Greengrass. For the rest of February, I never spoke to him. Could he have possibly forgotten that one event that changed my life, back in January?

I had to get her back, any way possible. Maybe I should even get back at Draco.

Well, I had to see what sources I had to enable my plan to work. There was Millicent; she'd always be on my side. And although hard (and disgusted to say) to admit, there was _Theodore Nott_. I knew he would follow every command I gave him, because he was oh-so-desperate to please me. And this was his lucky chance; but it looked more like a _risk_ to me.

Our plan was set – it was one of those "jealousy" plans; you understand what I mean. My first phase was to make it look like I was possibly "over" him. If I was lucky enough, he would see me with Theodore.

He's been walking up to me in between classes, but I always ran off trying to avoid him; trying to find Theodore. Just as Draco was about to grab my arm, I sped to Theodore and started talking to him; pretending I couldn't hear a thing behind us. This plan, I know, would surely let _him_ apologize first. It should be about time he did, anyway.

Surprisingly, I found Draco with no plan at all. Nothing. Maybe I was going too far? Even if I was, I thought it was too early to quit the plan now. Theodore told me to 'stick to it' and not to give up. He's probably just taking advantage of the plan.

There was that one day. I never thought I could confess so many feelings; be so embarrassed altogether.

I couldn't avoid him that one time. Theodore was in detention and Draco and I were the only ones in the common room. _Here goes_, I thought. My anger was one of the hardest things I can possibly control.

"Pansy, I need to talk to you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Hah, about what?"

"You know what I'm talking about, stop being so unreasonable."

"Unreasonable? Me? Since when did you accuse _me_ for everything? You were the one showing off all your wonderful presents from Daphne—"

He interrupted me. I didn't like to be cut off. "Listen, just because she gave me presents, it doesn't mean I preferred her over you, Pansy."

And with this my knees fell to the ground. I stopped there, kneeling, petrified in shock. What was I supposed to say? There was no reasonable comeback I could think of. I feel even more regretful as I'm writing this down; hand cramping.

Tears were coming their way. Some clung to my eyelashes and others had managed to escape to land on the hard ground. I could feel my mascara dripping slightly – I didn't want Draco to see me like this.

I heard other footsteps approaching – not Draco's – but other students. Most of them made a circle, Draco and I being in the middle. To them, it was some theatrical show. To me, it was unfair. Possibly, to Draco, I didn't know if he was feeling guilt for me or he was enjoying it. I was enduring great pain; I didn't know how long I could keep this up…

Draco ignored the other students to my astonishment and knelt on one knee in front of me. At this point my tears were streaming down to a steady flow. He leaned closer and I leaned back, trying to avoid a kiss if he was planning to give me one. His hand reached out of his cloak and placed it on my chin, sending the familiar tingling sensation I always felt when he touched me. My head was lifted up and I could see him more clearly.

"Now, I know you have something to say, and I know you want to say it. Tell me." He crooned softly.

I couldn't control myself. I grabbed the hand he was using to lift my chin, and hugged his arm. I started crying even more. Draco gave me a sad smile; a smile of pity. Quickly, I toppled on top of him following the embrace. We were brought to the ground and quickly stood up; I felt his palms on my shoulders.

"Would all of you mind leaving now? There's nothing to see here." Draco said in such a strict, firm tone. Some of them went, and some of them didn't move an inch. Following his demand, he sent out a nasty glare at them. This wasn't new to me as they all abandoned the area after _that_.

His hands were still on my shoulders but I was getting used to them. He was walking me towards the dormitories.

"Those _irritating _prats," I said.


	5. April

_**April**_

The smell of rain remained everywhere I went.

Draco and I were back together. As for Daphne, well, I think Draco did a decent job scolding her for making me feel that way. It was completely natural for us to laugh at others' pain; another way people recognize us as "_Draco and Pansy_".

Rain seemed endless and all the castle was filled with the scent of wet grass. Most of my time now, I've been forgetting a lot of my assignments. I've been completely absorbed with anything that had to do with Draco. I'd get at least one kiss from him each day, but the surprise was, I didn't know when. Of all the ups and downs in my life, I've never felt more relieved.

Daphne gave me a few dirtly looks every now and then, and they weren't easy to ignore. Especially after finding out that Millicent and Daphne had been best friends the whole time. Personally, I didn't think that I would be jealous because she had another good friend, but yes, I was.

I was told by Draco to just drop her and forget it; I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Girls in Slytherin just address me as 'their leader', but Millicent would probably be the only one there I'd actually consider as a "best friend". Daphne _was_ until our third years.

And I've been writing back to my mother, too. She had asked me about Draco, and I told her that I was his girlfriend. I thought at first she would go ballistic because last time, I've been told not to 'rush my life'. The ink from the latest letter that I've recieved from her was blotched because of the rain; and was indistinct. She would probably ask me why I'm dating him already. But not this time.

My mother asked me if I wanted to marry Draco.

Narcissa had asked Draco if he wanted to marry me.

Reading this, I turned a very fair shade of pink and just sat next to Draco, staring, as we looked through our letters together. He was turning pink too; something you wouldn't normally see.

For many generations now, the Malfoys and the Parkinsons would get married at a young age, somewhere around sixteen or seventeen. My mother wanted to do it because she knew I loved Draco. Narcissa wanted our marriage because of the great power we will have. Malfoys and Parkinsons are very powerful alone already.

I hesitated to speak first, but I had no control over what I was saying. "...What do you think we should do, Draco?"

"I don't know. If we were to get married, it would be after or during our seventh year."

"Do you think, though...you would have enough time for us and your plans with _Him_?" I had almost forgotten that Draco had become a Death Eater, following his father's footsteps.

"There's plenty of time on my hands. Besides, Pansy, you could come and join me."

I was struck dumb at the time. "Me? A Death Eater?"

"It won't hurt, wouldn't it?"

I was going to have to think first. It would be a great honor to my family if I was to be a Death Eater, but I've never really thought about it.

Writing back to my mother, I thought, was probably a wise start.

_Dear Mother,_

_I've been doing good here, I'll be back home before you know it._

_About me and Draco getting married, we're still thinking about that._

_He has asked me to join _Him_ and become a Death Eater as well._

_Something is telling me that I should, but I would like to see what you think first._

_Until then,_

_Love,_

_Pansy _

I know I could've written more. This was just like me; I was never satisfied with what I had to say in a message. After I was finished writing the letter, Draco picked it up and read it over. He said that if I were to become a Death Eater, it would make him happier because I would be there with him. Before Hogwarts, I found Draco nothing but a friend of mine with cooties. Now this was different. When Daphne was my friend, she told me that she wasn't really the person for relationships - in her second year; she dated that poor excuse of a Pureblood (I have to say), Miles Bletchley. Daphne mentioned that he was hard to keep up with; and was probably only using her. She told me getting into a relationship was a bad thing, and broke up with him shortly after. I could see right though her, I wasn't stupid; she just wanted Draco all to herself. Who would listen to her, anyway?

About two weeks later, as I walking towards our common room, I saw Daphne and Miles snogging in the middle of the corridor, right there, for everyone to see. Most people stared at them awkwardly and just kept going, others with disgusted looks on their faces, or ignored them. Haha, Daphne's not going to get me jealous this time, I don't understand what she sees in that idiot. I passed by them, laughing. This seemed to pull her strings.

Daphne furrowed her eyebrows and shot me a cold stare. "At least I've actually snogged someone. _You_, on the other hand, probably won't ever be able to!"

And yes. The moment she said this, I wanted to punch her. Punch her and make her take it back. So I did.

She fell to the ground, hands covering her nose that was slowly turning purple. Few students were staring, which led to more and more. I looked at her roll back and forth, cursing at me as she did so.

"Pansy, you...you-!"

I chuckled as she lacked an insult. My chuckles developed to laughter; laughter to cackling. I never knew how much trouble I would be in, until Draco came.

"Pansy!" He yelled, and stared at Daphne squirming helplessly on the ground. "What happened?"

"She-" I started.

Snape arrived at the right moment, curiously staring at Daphne, Draco and I. Madame Pomfrey, who was behind him, gasped in shock and took Daphne, heading for the Hostpital Wing right away. Snape didn't say a word, and just dissappeared somewhere in the crowd. As I was about to stand up to walk away with Draco, Madame Pomfrey called me over. "You, Parkinson. Come with me." Her voice was harsh and gave me shrills. I followed, not saying a word. Draco was tagging along too, holding my hand as we walked up the stairs.

"Mr. Malfoy, you shall remain outside," she scolded as she split our hands apart, which made me even more angier than I was. Before I followed Madame Pomfrey, I stared at Draco. No sound came out of his mouth, but his mouth moved. _I'll be out here_; his lips said.

Inside, Daphne was placed on a bed and she fell asleep immeadiately. I was going to have to deal with Madame Pomfrey now. "Explain yourself, Miss Parkinson," she demanded.

I still remember how I felt like a coward then. A Parkinson couldn't;_ shouldn't _be a coward.

"She..she shouldn't have messed with me," I began. "I didn't start anything." That was all I could say. Madame Pomfrey just sighed in disgust and told me that she would remind Snape to take me in for five nights of detention. Rolling my eyes as in saying _I-really-couldn't-care-less_, I just waited for her to leave. And finally, she did.

The precise moment she left, Draco came in. I told him about my punishment and told me detention wasn't all that bad. This would affect on my grade, and I wonder what my mother will think then.


	6. May

_**May**_

I've made a lot of mistakes. But whenever I was with him, it was like he could just merely kiss away my imperfections.

My detention days had started yesterday; every night in Snape's classroom for an hour. Daphne's nose had fully healed and she went back to being her pouty, arrogant self after she was let out of the Hospital Wing. If I could get back at that prat then I would, but I wouldn't want another week full of detentions. That could be five nights straight that I could spend with Draco.

Anyway, after I woke up today Millicent and I were heading down the stairs of the Girls' Dormitory and ran into Daphne. I stared at her for about 5 full seconds with a straight look on my face (which, actually, is pretty impressive since you can't _bear_ to look at her) until Millicent shoved her to the side, allowing us to get through.

Arriving downstairs, the sight was unusual from what I've normally seen. What you would _recognize_ as the Slytherin Common Room would be girls squealing over by the fireplace about the latest gossip, some couple snogging by the curtains, boys playing pranks on each other by the dormitories and students skimming through last-minute assignments.

Groups of girls were gathered by the bulletin board, screaming in anticipation. The boys would read whatever it was that needed to be read, somehow manage to get past the crowd, and sighed in disgust; apprehension clearly showing on ther faces. Millicent squinted her eyes to try and read what the sign read from afar, but it didn't help. As with all situations like this, she barged through all her problems to get what she wanted. I just sat down on a black chair, crossing my legs.

She came back a few moments later, wearing a look of excitement. Her mouth was wide open; I knew that face. I jolted up out of my seat and stared at her with impatience.

"Millicent, what is it!"

"Pansy...there's...there's a Spring Ball!"

My eyes grew wide. That moment, a thousand scenes rushed through my head. The words were hanging off the tip of my tongue; Where's Draco, where's Draco!

Before Millicent could say another word, I ran to the bulletin board which, by now, was completely deserted. I eyed the sign so close my nose was about an inch away from the wall.

_SPRING BALL_

_In honor of Lucius Malfoy, _

_who has kindly donated money _

_for our Potions classes._

_This is a manditory event. _

_All students are required to arrive with a partner._

_Thank you;_

_-Staff_

I came up to Draco the next day in Potions. He had told me how Snape needed more ingredients since the fifth years were to be brewing Polyjuice Potion and Veritaserum soon. Draco had contacted his father shortly after, and to my surprise he had kindly agreed to provide him with more money. After all, Snape _was_ Draco's favorite teacher.

We walked out shortly after; towards the courtyard. Hoping he didn't see right through me, I asked him a question. "Draco, did you hear about the upcoming Spring Ball?"

"Yeah, I did..." he said; those three dots trailing off to the rest of his thoughts. Then he turned and looked at me, smiling. Even by now, I still couldn't control my blushing around Draco. "Daphne had asked me to go with her."

I looked down to my feet. He looked out to the distance with such a promising look on his face, and I could see the reflection of the sky in his eyes. I know he could see my shoulders trembling if he looked.

He laughed and then placed his hands on my shoulders. "Don't worry. I didn't accept. Of course _you're_ the only one I'd want to spend a night like that with."

The butterflies in my stomach were increasing in force. I looked up so I was directly staring at him. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you later," he whispered softly in my ear. Draco didn't stay, but the promise of tomorrow hung in the air. By now I was standing there, alone, watching Draco walk further and further away until he was just a speck in the crowd. I didn't care if people were staring.

No way. No. This can't be happening.

Just right now, just this moment - I can feel myself trying to hold back the tears. I never knew when the ball would be. I've already bought a new, jade green dress and a new pair of black high heels. Today was the day when I was supposed to have the time of my life. Today was the day of the ball, something I've just found out today. It started at 7, the same time my detention period would have to take place.

I begged Snape to let the detention session go, at least just _this _night. "I'm sorry, Miss Parkinson, but I cannot cancel your session. I am expected to follow the rules given by the Headmaster." He used such an emotionless tone, I couldn't tell if he felt repentance for me or not. He strutted off to vanish in the darkness of the dungeons, but before he did, he turned around. "I was asked by Lucius to stay in the Great Hall during the event," I felt a stab at my heart. "You will be left alone in the detention room, and the door will open by itself once you've stayed for hour. I know you will do no funny business, so you are to remain in there until."

I haven't even told Draco yet. Since I was his date, who would he spend the night with? Not with that Daphne Greengrass. No one. Even Millicent wouldn't have time in her hands to be his date, too, for she, to my surprise, was going with Theodore.

I've brought my diary to detention today. It was already 6:30, and I could hear girls giggling outside the classroom, meeting up with their dates. I shouldn't cry; I would look like a mess. And I've even worn my dress, shoes, and makeup to detention. It was better than nothing, at least I felt pretty on the outside to what horrible suffering that lurked in the inside.

_Draco would probably be looking for me right now_, I thought to myself. It was all my fault - because I couldn't control my temper, because I overreacted at Daphne's words - Draco and I were dateless. I ruined a night that was supposed to be perfect.

It was 7:20 now; the ball had already started. Everyone would be drinking punch, dancing to wondrous music, having the time of their lives.

As I was supposed to give in and forget about the whole Spring Ball, Draco came in the room. Of course, the Potions room was probably the last place anyone would look, but he was smart enough. The scene replayed over and over in my head, like a movie, and there was no stop button. Just how I liked it.

He was walking towards my desk. "I've been looking all over for you,"

I started at his feet; ending at his face (it was normal for me to observe people like this). He was dressed in black dressrobes, embroidered with deep green. His hair looked fragile, exactly like he wore it at the Yule Ball. He was looking at me too, I could see his eyes tracing the lining of the crimson ribbons in my hair. "Pansy, you look gorgeous."

I didn't blush this time. I stood up and gave him a kiss. Ever since he has always been the one kissing me, and all I've ever been was the _"kiss-ee"_. Not the _"kiss-er"_.And he has always been the one whose neck arms would wrap around. Everything was topsy-turvy.

Following my kiss I gave him a long embrace, trying my best not to cry. Parkinsons shouldn't cry. He kept me warm for about 10 minutes.

"Draco, I'm so sorry...I blew everything and this was _supposed_ to be the perfect night-"

I was stopped. He placed his finger over my lips, shushing me.

"It will be the perfect night. You'll be allowed to leave this place in about thirty five minutes. We'll go the ball then."

A smile formed on my face. "Draco...you don't have to stay, you can go hang with your friends and-"

"Shush. I'll stay here with you."

He pulled over a chair and sat next to me, I've put away my diary by now, writing everything after. We just sat there for a while, my head on his shoulder. He stroked the ribbons in my hair slowly, and his other hand was on my shoudler. Every now and then we would start kissing, not snogging - but somewhere in between. "Promise we'll always be together, Pans," he smiled.

"Yes. I promise." I loved it. I loved the way he - only _he_ - called me'Pans'. Everyday people and teachers would call me Parkinson, friends of mine would address me as Pansy, and Draco would call me his little 'Pans'. I wouldn't let anyone else use that name; that was his and only his. As with everything, anything like this, Draco always had something to say after a moment of silence.

"I've figured out why my father required us to have dates. This was all for us. It seems he's allies with my mother; planning our whole marriage and everything. I was guessing he hoped we'd become closer tonight."

Snape walked in on us shortly after, which gave me quite of a shock. "Miss Parkinson...I've spoken to Headmaster, it would be all right if you were to attend the ball. And Draco, your father had asked me to tell you that you are required to be there. After all, it is a manditory event.."

Draco stood up. "Of course." I could read his mind and he could read mine, just by looking into one anothers' eyes. This was going to be a wonderful night.

Inside the great hall, it was absolutely breathtaking - the bewitched ceiling was raining with pink flower petals, bronze and gold statues of angels stood by themselves at the corners, tables with yellow cloth, the floor with green rugs; even little sunflowers were growing out of the walls - and the pink curtains just finished the whole theme of "Spring." After Draco had gotten me a glass of punch, he went to get one for himself. "I'll be right back."

And, from the distance - "Hey, PARKINSON!"

A girl walked up, escorted by Miles Bletchley. I couldn't recognize her from afar, nothing about her seemed familiar. She wore a long sky blue dress, a grey sparkly boa, and midnight blue high heels. Her hair was let down, and she wore a sparking necklace. As she walked closer and closer, I didn't blame myself for not recognizing her. It was Daphne.

Her perky peru-colored pigtails that were always tied in pink ribbons were always there - and without them, she just wasn't _Daphne_. Her scheming smile and shifty eyes remained, however (unfortunately).

"If it isn't Miles," I started. I needed to take a jab at her. "I would never figure out why you've decided to get back with...Daphne."

Draco returned with an extra glass of punch. Why did he have to return now - _now_ - when Daphne was here. I couldn't just shoo him off, that would be a rude act contrasting to the sweetness he had shown me earlier.

My eyes traced Daphne's as I saw her scan Draco. "My, my, Draco...you look _absolutely_ handsome in your dressrobes." After flashing a quick smile at him, she turned her horrid face to me, chuckling evily.

I opened my mouth to talk, but Draco was quicker. He knew I was feeling uncomfortable. "Thanks for the compliment, but Daphne, let's say you stay with your dance partner, and I'll stay with mine. Understood?" She was obviously offended after this, hesitated to speak, and strutted off with Miles; who was looking confused.

Celestina Warbeck herself was there, singing on a raised platform, her song followed by an orchestra. Many of her fans were screaming.

I heard a conversation somewhere to my right; and I turned. I saw that filthy Mudblood Granger, and Weasley.

She was wearing a long sleeved purple dress that was shaped like a bell at the bottom. Her strappy violet high heel sandals could be seen and her hair was straightened. Weasley, to my surprise, wasn't wearing those ridiculous dressrobes he had worn at the Yule Ball. I hope Draco would come up with an insult to throw at her (unlike last time), but no, he didn't. He just kept staring at her in awe. I rolled my eyes in disgust and stayed there. Something I had to admit by now was that I do tend to get jealous easily.

I was then saved by a new song Celestina was singing. A slow song. Everyone was gathering with their partners. Draco, to my opinion, was an excellent dancer compared to what I was. Although, when I was about seven years old, my mother had given me dance lessons.

_"Mom, I don't want to take dance lessons. They're so boring!"_

_"Now now, Pansy dear, dancing can help. One day, when you find a boy you truly love, you--"_

_"Mom, I don't like boys, they're gross! Now please, PLEASE can I stop taking dance lessons?"_

_"I'm sorry, Pansy, but this is necessary. Us Parkinsons were taught how to dance gracefully."_

Great memories, I thought sarcastically. Although taking Draco's hand and placing my available one on his waist seemed easy, it wasn't. By the time we've got our positions right the music was already playing, and everyone was already dancing ever so switfly.

Let's just cut to the chase. It felt like we've danced for hours and hours, and was even more memorable than the Yule Ball. Because the thing is, after our fourth dance, he took me outside to look at the stars.

He said he would marry me. No matter what.


	7. June

_**June**_

One day she was my best friend, the next she was a stranger.

I tried to speak to her, even though my mother told me I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers; something I've stopped listening to. I didn't want another year full of memories to end like this. Millicent has been avoiding me ever since I told her that Draco and I were going to get married soon, and I wasn't ready to know why. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't.

But enough about that, June 5 was coming up; and I wanted to give him something nice this year. I never even knew that Draco's birthday was on the fifth until our third year, so I didn't get him anything on the first two. If I could remember clearly, so far I've only given him a box of candies from Honeydukes and several Zonko Products (I can't remember what, I'm not interested in those kind of things). Of course, I wanted to give him something of more value, something he'll never forget. But what was that?

Right now it's June 4th, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world; being granted a Hogsmeade weekend. I've brought all the money I could find in my clothes, my wallet, and my box. Maybe I didn't have to buy him anything, maybe I could just pay for an unforgettable visit to Madam Puddifoot's? To me it seemed kind of dull, but it was worth a try.

I had to look the part, too - I wore my green sweater, black pleated skirt, and gray over-the-knee socks with my black boots. I fixed my hair to make it have that professional look; shiny and fragile. After finishing up my make-up, I rushed down the stairs.

Before leaving, I gathered up my courage and approached Millicent. I was known as a fearless arrogant girl among the other houses, but it still was difficult for me to face my best friend if she was angry with me. It would've been hard for anyone.

The moment she saw me, she tried to look natural and just walk away casually. I saw right through her. I sped up and gently but firmly grabbed her arm.

"Millicent," I said nicely, trying not to frighten her. "We need to talk."

She squinted her eyes at me as if I were far away; away from her reach, unable to reunite again. Only a sigh came out of her, and if you were Millicent's best friend, you would know there was something serious coming straight after at full speed.

"What is it this time, Pansy..." Millicent seemed exhausted. She opened her eyes completely and looked at me, and I felt a bit of pity in me.

"Millicent, don't get me wrong. I know I did something to offend you, even if I didn't do it on purpose. Now, just tell me."

"It's nothing...I don't want to frustrate you with it...really."

Millicent turned her head so she wasn't facing me anymore and I let go of her arm. I know this conversation wouldn't last very long; I should've come with a better approach. I trailed off to put on my crimson scarf and find Draco. He was just by the exit of the Common Room.

"Draco," I called. "I have money for-"

I don't know why I'm not interrupted by anyone and I suddenly stop speaking by myself. I don't know why I observe his appearance like I've never seen him before. I really don't know why everytime I walk into a room with him, I'm afraid to move; merely petrified.

He was wearing a black turtleneck long sleeved shirt, a dark brown jacket, black pants, and a dark green scarf. He looked flawless.

"I...I have-uhh-you look really-umm-money for the-weekend-" I stuttered. I could only imagine what I looked like to him now, a complete idiot staring at him with wonder. I cleared my throat and put some hair behind an ear, trying to look natural. "I have money for our Hogsmeade weekend." Now, I thought, I sounded way too serious.

He sniggered slightly, and then gave me that infamous smirk of his. Not in an offending way like he would give to Potter and them, but in a humorous friendly way. "Don't worry about it, Pans. I've brought all we would need."

I felt my cheeks flush and redden. "Oh...okay. I was thinking of.."

"Of?"

"Of...will you go to Madam Pudifoot's with me?"

_Oh no_, I thought, _way too fast_. I know he wouldn't refuse to go, but maybe there was a little desperate tone in my voice. I bit my lip, quivering, waiting in suspicion for the answer.

It seemed like all the noise in the Slytherin Common Room faded away, and all I could hear was Draco's voice.

"Certainly, why not?" He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as all the background noise resumed. "Let's go."

We rode a carriage to Hogsmeade that Draco paid for. I would have, but I was paying too much attention to how I looked and what I said around him. The carriage was made for two, black on the outside; led by white horses. Inside, the seats were crimson and I thought I was a little too cozy in there. I knew sitting in a small carriage with Draco was something I would want, but I still felt a little shy. He had a new kind of perfume, even better than the one he always used.

After about five minutes of silence, something nudged my shoulder. It was Draco, and he fell asleep on me. I felt my cheeks turn scarlet as they started burning. That's right...Draco barely got any sleep last night. I watched him stay up and finish his homework, but I feel asleep shortly after.

"Draco?" I whispered, but there was no response. He was asleep, really asleep.

He looked so calm in his sleep, like nothing was troubling him. He looked more like the little boy he used to be. Soon enough his head fell onto my lap and it stayed there as I stroked it carefully, not wanting to wake him up. We would always do this on the train.

Twenty minutes of silence now; and just when I thought I would fall asleep myself, there was a bump on the road that caused the carriage to wiggle a little bit. Draco immeadiately woke up and sat up. He laughed. "Looks like we're here." He opened the door to reveal Hogsmeade, abundant in wizards and witches walking around, flower stands on the sides of the roads, and birds flying over the town. I just sat there looking at the scenery, when Draco held out his hand. I took it slowly, and then got off the carriage. Draco held my hand the whole way as we opened the door to Madam Pudifoot's.

Inside, like the Spring Ball, it was exuberant with flowers and various shades of green, pink and yellow. A woman came up to us, she had red frizzy hair, green eyes, and a yellow dress printed with purple flowers. To me, she looked foolish, but I kept that myself. I could see that Draco was trying not to laugh, either. She gave us a smirk and without a word at all, directed us to our table.

It was by the pot of azaleas by the windowsill. The tablecloth was golden yellow and the seats were rosy pink. She placed the menu in front of us and remained there, as if we would be ready to order in a second.

"You hungry, Pansy?" Draco asked.

"Oh, no...I'm fine. I'll just have a drink."

"Let's get your favorite. Let's see...we'll have strawberry tea."

The lady jotted down our order quickly with her feathered quill in such a motion that reminded me of Rita Skeeter. Then she left with her nose high up in the air.

It made me feel glad for Draco to say _'let's get your favorite'_. It made me feel like he knew more about me than I did; like he wanted to know more about me. I was fidgeting with a straw wrapper, curling it around my right index finger.

Strawberry tea would take a couple of minutes to prepare, especially here at Hogsmeade; it was a specialty. I was unwrapping more and more straws and tried to keep myself entertained as I waited, and then I heard a giggle that shrilled my ears.

Daphne Greengrass had just arrived with Miles Bletchley and they were talking to the red-haired woman. She was giving her that fake, perky, I'm-always-so-happy smile that drove me mad. I just didn't see why Miles would get back with such a brat like her.

"Don't pay attention to her," Draco reminded. "If she talks bad at you, get back at her." And I was ready to.

The woman led them to a table about 4 tables away from us. Daphne refused to sit there to find another seat. Not to my surprise (really), she took the one right next to where Draco and I were. I know she was already looking at him as she sat down in such a fancy, sophisticated way. Miles waved to us and I waved back. Daphne chuckled like she had just earned front-row tickets to ruining our date. It looked like this was the last place Miles wanted to be - here, in Madam Pudifoot's, with one of the most snobbiest girls to attend Hogwarts. To _exist_, actually.

It took her about six seconds to stop pretending and get back into reality. "Oh, _hello_, Pansy," she sneered. I felt sickened that she used my first name; it felt like she wasn't worthy enough to me to do so. Or something. "I see your on your little date with _Draco_. Well, it's kind of funny we managed to run into each other, I was just walking here with Miles-"

"Honestly, Daphne, I don't care," I snapped. She gave me that horrid doubtful look as if I wasn't allowed to throw an insult at her. "Save your breath. Tell someone who wants to hear it." When Daphne had given up and turned to Miles to start a 'civilized conversation', I turned to Draco and he shot me a quick smile.

The woman approached our table and placed two fancy green cups on the table. There were some red flower-shaped marshmallows on the side. Draco paid her and she left.

I took a sip. Every time, from way back when - I felt that familiar feeling when I drank steaming Strawberry tea. It made me feel at peace, so rejuvinated. I felt like a little kid that just got the privlege to sit in the front seat.

I finished mine in less than 3 minutes, my fastest record yet. When I looked back ahead, Draco wasn't even halfway finished when he took a look back at me. "You want some more?"

A quick jolt went through me. I calmed down. "No, I couldn't possibly...you can have it,"

"No, I insist. You seem to really like this." He bent over the table and took my straw and placed it in his cup. Now, Draco and I were using straws, drinking from the same drink. Something I thought that would only happen in movies, until now.

I couldn't help but smile when I was drinking. Our noses were barely touching, and I felt tickled pink. He took a flower marshmallow and placed it on my nose, causing me to laugh more. We took our mouths out of our straws and just started laughing. With the corner of my eye, I could see Daphne staring at us in question. I guess inside jokes are only funny if you were on the inside.

After our visit to Madam Pudifoot's, we decided to walk around Hogsmeade for a while. We came across a balloon stand, where Draco kindly bought one for me. For the whole time we were talking about our childhood and laughed at all the incidents we've tortmented Potter.

We walked all the way out of town and sat at the top of the hill. The view was remarkable - the Black Lake was completely silenced and the only sound around us was the wind and birds chirping. It's up to you to figure out who said who, for now, at least.

"I couldn't imagine a better way to spend a day with you."

"This day wouldn't be anything if you weren't with me."

"I know this is early, but Happy Birthday. Don't worry, I have a gift ready."

"Really, this was my present. I couldn't think of anything else with higher value."

"Good. Because really, I didn't get anything yet."

We laughed.

"I didn't know why I haven't told you this directly yet, Draco."

"What is it, Pans?"

So I told them those three words. Its amazing how three words could change someone's life, someone's opinions, someone's feelings. I kissed him after. This was the perfect way to end another Hogwarts year.

My balloon flew out of my hands, soaring into the spacious sky, eager to be free again.


	8. July

_**July**_

Every time I went to sleep, I'd replay the scenes in my head over and over again.

Another year has ended and we would be returning in August. Although I was glad to be home, back in my room, home seemed lonely. Father was busy working at the Ministry with Lucius, and mother was always on the phone with God-knows-who. To top it all off, I couldn't see Draco everyday now, which completely lowered my spirits.

Other than that, I was just back to my ordinary life now. Of all the times I've arrived home, I've never felt so bad. I was usually quite excited to arrive back, but it just wasn't the same.

I lied down on my pink bed, staring up at the ceiling. The violet red curtains were friendly with the wind seeping in; I liked to keep my window open. Lecym, my black cat, leaped up on the bed and started to purr as I stroked her.

_That's right_, the little voice inside of me spoke. _Lecym was a gift from Draco's family to mine on my fifth birthday. _I know that had nothing to do with anything, but it wouldn't hurt to remember some things every now and then. And to think people thought _I_ was the girl that softened Draco up a bit; I found it true.

The more I thought about the train ride back home, the more I thought about Draco. We got a compartment all to ourselves and probably spoke the entire time halfway. Then I fell asleep, except that my head was on his lap this time. We arrived back home by midnight, and Draco walked me out of the train, our fingers laced together. At Kings Cross Station, his parents waved to us. I left shortly after, looking at the raindrops dancing on the car window.

Millicent called every now and then, just to talk about the usual things girls are supposed to talk about. Gossip, boys…things like that. She never actually told me why she was avoiding me, but that slipped off my mind. I was guessing she was jealous I was getting married to Draco.

About our marriage, mother wanted us to get married in December, the same month she got married. It was a long time from now, but I could wait.

"Pansy, dear," my mother said as she opened my door. "You look bored. Why don't you take a walk outside?"

Yes. That's what I needed. A little stroll around the area should do me good. I grabbed my scarf and hat as I walked downstairs.

"I'll be back soon," after closing the door of Parkinson Manor, I picked a flower out of the ground by the lawn. It was a purple pansy. This bunch has been here ever since before I've been born.

I've been walking further and longer than I planned to. I discovered myself trying to reach Malfoy Mansion, which I did. Wiltshire wasn't very far from my own home, but I've never walked here by foot; I'd always come with my parents. I walked closer and closer and stepped on their black doormat, staring at the doorbell. I started to get anxious and was holding myself back from pressing the switch. Just as I was capable enough to, I heard voices from the other side of the door.

"Draco, dear, can you check if we have any mail?"

"Fine, mother."

My heart skipped a beat as I looked for a place to hide. I hid behind a rosebush that was fluorescent with bright white roses.

Why was I hiding from him? Was I scared that he would find me? I wanted to be with him, but this was something words couldn't explain.

I heard the door open slightly, and then another click that meant it had been closed. Draco was outside now. It seemed I picked a horrible hiding spot; it was right next to the polished black mailbox he was heading towards.

I peeped through a little clearing of the leaves. All I could see was his hands reaching into the mailbox, counting how many envelopes it revealed. Two. After he finished, he started to walk back. When I was about to run back home, his footsteps stopped. He was still there.

There was another clearing and I looked through that. I could see him waist up, and he was looking down curiously at something. He bent down and picked up something. Some kind of cloth possessing a deep red color.

It was my scarf. I must've dropped it when I was running to the rosebush.

I started to panic quietly, hoping my heavy breathing wasn't too loud.

"Pansy's…scarf?" He spoke to himself. I didn't realize he remembered it was mine. Draco carried it with the available hand and started staring at the envelopes again. Once he was back inside his house, I ran and looked back simultaneously all the way home. I was breathless and took a shower once I had arrived.

Once everything that needed to be done was finished, I plopped down on my bed. _What a day_, I thought.

The darkness took over and the stars were enlightening themselves. My parents were asleep and Lecym was wandering around the house. I couldn't sleep.

_Bang._

I immediately shot up, head out of my pillow. There was a noise, just now.

_Bang_. It repeated itself.

I realized it was coming out of my window. I opened the curtains really slowly, because I really was scared when this was happening. My room was on the second floor, so once the window was completely exposed I could see a crescent moon. I opened them and felt the night chill, looking down.

I saw Draco in a black jacket and jeans.

It seemed he was throwing rocks on my window to catch my attention. _This was too classic_. First we share a drink, sitting opposite each other, using straws, now he's throwing rocks on my window late at night to talk to me? I felt like I was being filmed or something.

"Draco? What are you doing down there?" I whispered, only loud enough so he can hear me.

"Pansy…can you come down for a moment?"

It took me a while to respond. "…Hold on," I closed the window and placed the curtains back to their original spot. I put on a jacket and some jeans really quick and creeped downstairs quietly, hoping my parents wouldn't hear me. I opened and closed the front door quietly, and I also hoped Lecym would be quiet.

"Hello…what is it you want to talk about?"

He held out his hand and I took it directly. "Let's walk through your mom's garden," he opened the door to my backyard. "It will be better there."

I'm not sure what he meant by 'better', but I was to find out sooner or later.

I know I lived in a wealthy spacious house (after all, it was a manor). But there was also the backyard, my mother's garden. It was overflowing with beautiful flowers and in the middle of it all, there was a fountain with angels carved on its side.

Draco was still holding my hand, walking slowly, and I did too so we could keep a steady pace. "Oh, Pans, I found your scarf,"

Was this all? He came to my house at night just to give me back my scarf?

It caught my attention and I twitched. He handed it to me. "It was on my lawn, I don't know how it got there." I looked at it in doubt and giggled a little. "Me neither…it was in my room this morning." I had to lie, at least just a little one; I didn't want him to think I was spying on him.

After I took it from him we fell dead silent. The only sound now was the water from the fountain flowing. He didn't notice me, but I was looking at his pocket. There was a square shaped lump on it, and I've never seen it there previously. I didn't know what was inside, but I was pretty sure he would show me.

We reached the fountain now (the backyard was pretty big) and I sat down on the edge. Draco just stood up in front of me, looking out into the beyond. I turned around and stuck the tips of my fingers in the water, allowing the cute little yellow fishes that lived in it to nibble on them. Draco turned his head towards my direction and smiled at the little fishes and sat down next to me. He placed his hand in the water too, and even more fishes arose. We smiled at each other constantly and laughed a little.

"Pans, I don't think I'm never going to have such an exciting year. You've changed everything."

"Same goes for me," I spoke, and placed my available hand on his shoulder. "You've _completely_ changed my life, Draco." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheeks.

He smiled, and then reached into his pocket. It was shaped like a small box, but I didn't know what it was. It was wrapped in a frilly white cloth, tied with a green ribbon. "I'm sorry, Pans, but I have to go now." He placed the box in my hands, smiling, and gave me a kiss back.

I waved him goodbye and didn't stop until he closed the backyard door. I smiled and looked up to the sky.

A light from my house lit up.

"Pansy?" My mother called out, still wearing her curlers and nightgown. "What are you doing out there?"

I grinned. "Nothing, mother. I'll be up," I stood up from the fountain's edge and changed back into my pajamas. I could sleep more easily now.

I can't wait until December. That engagement ring Draco gave me made me even more impatient for the future.


	9. August

(Sorry it took too long to update.)

_**August**_

A sleepy Tuesday had arrived and I sat down in the usual compartment.

It was now the day we would be returning to Hogwarts. As much as excited as I was, I took a quick peek into the future for a second. This was my last year, and during so, I'll be turning seventeen, but most importantly, I was getting married. I thought my life was going a little too quick, but this was all our parents' choices.

The train seemed to take longer than it usually had to start; perhaps it was possibly just me. I don't know if I was ready to go back yet, I wanted – needed – to see Draco first.

I was the only one in my compartment and I didn't want anyone else to enter. I closed the door and sat in my seat, looking at the blurred figures of students through the glass. The students were cramming into the passageways; and some even tried to open the door to my compartment. No. I didn't let them in.

It was now 10:58. The train would be on its way to Hogsmeade station in exactly two minutes. I opened my purse and took out some candies and started eating them. I've tried all possible ways to distract my mind from the thought Draco wasn't here yet – reading a book (which I immediately stopped), drawing (I'm not much of an artist); anything.

10:59. I was starting to worry a little bit. The determination to get off the train and onto the platform to look for him was somewhere deep in me, but I couldn't leave. Not now. Not when the train was going to start.

Staring at my engagement ring wouldn't help, either. It was gold with emeralds and diamonds engraved in them; illustrating the colors of the Slytherin house._ If this was an engagement ring, I didn't know what to expect for the wedding ring_, I thought ironically. It illuminated with beauty with the light that shined through the glass window.

I felt the train move a little, and heard the wheels starting to turn. I pressed my face against the window, hoping to see Draco on the platform. He wasn't there. I opened my door to check if he was just arriving. He wasn't there, either. I sunk back down in my seat, sulking; shoulders high. Maybe he had forgotten and was in another compartment.

I also had to stop my problem of crying easily. I know tears were coming their way, but I stopped them. _Draco will come_; I had to think positive.

The train started moving slowly, very slowly – I opened my window to see some parents waving goodbye to their kids as their hands stuck out of their windows; carrying their goodbyes and farewells. I couldn't find my mother or father so I remained inside. I looked for Lucius and Narcissa too; but they were also out of sight. Maybe Draco wasn't coming because of what he had told me previously – that he wouldn't be returning. That he would be moving on to bigger and better things.

Just as the train gradually passed the crowds of parents, something caught my eye. I couldn't clearly see because my window was now closed, but I could make something out of it – a tall figure, dark clothes, blonde hair, running and running. Their hand was waving high in the air, as if telling the train to stop.

I had no idea why I was as slow as I was. I opened the window, and looked out. I screamed as loud as I possibly could, but my voice was still drowned out by the sound of the train's engine. The smell of smoke was making me cough; causing me to sound indistinct, but I still gave it a go.

"Draco! Come on!"

I was mesmerized with how fast Draco could run, because by now, he was slightly _faster_ than the train. He was breathing heavily but kept going, and I reached out my hand to let him grab it – I wasn't sure if this was going to work, but I needed Draco now. He ran even more rapidly and reached out his own hand, and grabbed mine. I felt the force wanting to pull me out of the window, but I didn't stop. My feet rose from the ground, but I managed to plant them back down.

"Pans," he said, fatigued. Conscientiously staring at his face made me want to cry... "Let go."

I felt myself weaken. "No…no,"

"Please, Pans." He stared at me with those gray eyes of his. I could see that hope still remained in them.

_How could he possibly be so calm?_

I nodded my head faintly and as I closed my eyes shut, I let go. The moment his hand was released, he continued sprinting. I peeked my head out and I could see several students were watching; even Daphne. "Drayyy-co!" She squeaked.

Ignoring Daphne's prattling; he gained greatly in speed and turned towards me slightly. At the right moment, he jumped in such a dramatic way and was hanging onto the edge of my window; feet slipping off the side. I lifted him up into the compartment, and we sat there, safe and sound.

I took out a spare towel from my suitcase and wiped his face.

"Draco…what happened? Why weren't you on the platform?"

He gave me that classic smile that couldn't be mimicked. "I wouldn't want you to worry, Pans. Although I didn't agree to it at first, mother needed help with some cleaning. It took longer than I thought it would, and I happened to be late."

"Oh," I peeped and looked down. "What about your things?"

"Oh, that? They'll be sent to me once we arrive at the school, Father already took care of it."

I was probably only half-listening to him now. I rested my feet on my seat, knees bending up, and buried my face into my arms. "I'm sorry I'm like that," my voice was muffled. "I know I worry too much." Taking a deep sigh, my head remained where it was.

I was expecting uncomfortable silence but instead, I felt him stroke my hair. We didn't speak the entire way to Hogsmeade Station; I just sat there and his embraces said all.

I'm glad he didn't forget about me. I wouldn't want my last year at Hogwarts to be spent in such a lonesome way.

Once the train came to a definite stop at Hogsmeade station and we were to be taken inside carriages, unfortunately, Draco and I were put in with Miles and Daphne.

We were completely silent at the beginning. Miles was looking out the window, Daphne was crossing her arms, glaring at me; and giving Draco flirty looks every now and then. Draco just held my hand and remained quiet; I was surprised he didn't want to put up a fight.

Then, conversation started. Miles saved the day, and I was surprised someone _finally_ felt the same way.

"Daphne, is there any reason why you irk Pansy so much?" He said, as if Draco and I weren't even there. I was fine, though – I'd love to see her get humiliated by her own 'boyfriend'.

Daphne gave him that familiar, dubious look. "_Excuse_ me? And _why_ are you asking me this?" She had the most counterfeit voice I had ever seen. If she was trying to be cute and innocent, it wasn't working. Definitely.

I imitated her high-pitched voice. "And _why_ are you so afraid to answer that?" Miles and Draco sniggered, and Daphne was turning red.

"First of all, _Pansy_, you're the one that's scared of me. You've always been jealous of me. I didn't do anything to you, all of a sudden you stopped hanging with me in our third year-" she began.

"No," Draco snapped. _Perfect_, Draco probably had the most strength when it came to insulting Daphne. "You were jealous of _her_. Because she was with _me_." I liked the way he used 'me' and 'she' together. It made me feel like he really preferred me.

Daphne blushed furiously. She removed the mean, cruel image; in which she replaced with that naive look. "Whatever do you mean, Draco?"

I was absolutely disgusted. Daphne was the most impudent girl I've ever come across. It was time for Draco to go to his original, malicious side. I know it was all for protecting me, so Miles and I just sat there and watched them go.

"You need to stop being such a replica of someone else and trying to impress me with everything. Daphne, you're absolutely getting on my very last nerve on how you always bother Pansy; well, take a look at this." He softly took my hand and flashed the ring at her face. I loved it how he always seemed to win, and left the opponent sulking in regret. "We're engaged, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Daphne was thunderstruck. Instead of confessing to Draco (or me, more importantly); instead of crying – she just crossed her arms even tighter. "Hmph. I don't need to be told by foolish individuals by you." And with that, she left the carriage, opening the door and entering another one.

Draco, Miles and I just stared out the window for a couple of moments. "That has got to be the smartest thing I've ever heard her say," Miles said. We were chatting all the way to Hogwarts, making up jokes about Daphne and enhancing each one so it was meant to be laughed at.

Sorting ceremonies grew boring to me as I uncomfortably sat in my usual seat in the Great Hall. I've seen this occurrence how many times now? Six. And one I was involved in.

My fork spun and spun around my mashed potatoes. Right now I wasn't in the mood to eat or to put it in a better way – I wasn't even in a mood to be awake.

Not wanting to worry him, a slow serene tone would do well.

"Draco, I'm feeling tired. I'm going to turn in for the night, okay?"

He looked at me with a look of fret. He dropped his spoon and fork and rested his palm on my temple. The other he placed on my shoulder.

"You feeling okay, Pans?"

It lightened up every inch of my soul, seeing that there was enough sanity in Draco that any girl would wish for. Merely gazing at those beautiful blonde strands captivated me to the fullest extent. My hand found its destination and settled on his.

"I'm okay, Draco. Really." I arose from my seat and started walking towards the door; remembering to turn around and give him one last wave. I did.

The true reason I was so depressed was that I had completely forgotten what my mother had told me in the summer – the whole prospect of becoming a Death Eater. It was true, my father had gladly accepted the request since it would be a great honor – but my mother contrasted to that. She was worried, and although Draco and Lord Voldemort's would be there, she said it was far too dangerous.

As I walked towards the dungeons, hearing the echo of my footsteps in the abandoned cellar – I felt my eyes watering. I convinced myself, no, no one – nothing – was worth a Parkinsons' tears. I hated it how I cried so easily. Hated it how I'm so tough and yet so frail.

I just wanted to go to sleep, and leave my problems for my dreams, for dreams were the only place I could be anywhere I wanted – anywhere but in this situation – and anything could happen. Miracles were no test.


	10. September

(UPDATE! Yes, an update! I'm so sorry it took so long. It took a while to reinstall a word processing program and to fix everything else. Hope you enjoy!)

(EDIT March 18th 2006 – Fixed spelling and grammar errors. That should be better.)

_**September**_

I've never thought I could be in such a miserable position.

Adding to the fact that I cannot become a Death Eater, Millicent has been purposely ignoring me. We've never actually dealt with that whole dilemma that happened in June. Has she still not gotten over it? Anyone could see that Millicent had become Daphne's official acquaintance. Well, if there's nothing she really has to say, I might as well ignore her.

Draco seemed to take care of me the whole time; his sweetness just increases by day. Although I am rather fond of this personality, I'm glad that he hasn't taken away his resentful side, either. You can't have one without the other.

One day I was lying on my bed, alone in the Girls Dormitory (everyone was either outside or still in class). I heard a knock on the door; I was stammering to open the door - was it Millicent? Or worse, was it _Daphne_? Anyway, I wasn't frightened of them; I just didn't want to waste my time in another childish argument.

I felt myself lighten up when I opened the door. Squealing in delight, I let him in. He wore a black turtleneck sweater, black pants and a gray jacket.

"Draco! How did you get here? There's a spell on the staircase of the Girl's Dormitory that forbids the entrance of--"

"Let's just leave it to this," he spoke as I sat on his lap; I could feel his fingers running through my hair. "It wasn't easy, Pans. I've asked Miles for the charm that temporarily froze the staircase."

We both chuckled a little but our laughter died shortly after, trailing off elsewhere. An awkward silence followed; he was still stroking my hair and I was fidgeting with my newly polished nails.

_Perhaps_, I thought,_ this was the perfect time to tell him_. _Yes, I had to get it over with. Tell him now._

"Draco, there's something I need to tell you," I placed my hands on his. Alright, I'll admit it, I was pleading and I had a desperate tone (not to mention face) during the time. Well, I had to sound convincing, didn't I? He ceased stroking my hair and overlapped his hand on my palm. My eyes were swimming with tears that I tried my best to choke back. _Why did I cry so easily? Was I really as fragile as a flower like they say?_

"It's...about the whole Death Eater prospect."

"What about it?"

"My mother said that I...I can't become one for sake of safety."

I knew myself I shouldn't be afraid of what he had to say, but I was. When his grip softened, I managed to let my hands escape to cover my face. Feeling completely childish, I buried my face into my arms. Lunacy was rushing through my head.

"Pans...I didn't say you _had_ to join me," His voice sent me a reminder that I wasn't the only one in the room. "It would've been great, but it's okay whatsoever. Don't worry about it."

I revealed my face and looked at him directly in the eye. "Yes, but why do I always h-have to ruin everyt-th-thing? You've never done anything to make me feel awful...it has always been me..."

_Did I really just say that?_ I should've practiced my word choice more; I didn't want to make it sound like I wanted to end our relationship. I tend to blurt things out often when I can't think straight...

Trembling in pain and fear, Draco had every right in the _world_ to remain silent and watch me. He was though, not the type to listen to most things, so of course his response was expected.

His warm hands soothed my cold face as he placed them on my cheeks; cupping my face.

"Everyone makes mistakes. I know I've made mine, and well, you've made yours."

Most would find that insulting, but we laughed together. That was something special about Draco, if you really knew his real self he forgave easily. Although those out there who forgive easily inflict a guilty feeling in the other; this was completely different. _The question was, could my life possibly become more like a fairy tale?_

When the leaves couldn't depend on the branches anymore; fall managed to awaken from its long sleep and finally arrived.

I was sitting in the Common Room when the dreadful news was delivered to me. Why was it that when I was enjoying my life to the fullest possible extent; something always prevented it for it to become permanent?

"Parkinson? Parkinson!" I heard voices screaming from outside. I didn't even get the chance to stand up; a group of girls had already stormed into the room, one of them being Daphne Greengrass.

"What is it?" I stormed; impatient.

"Your friend Millicent, she, she-"

Everyone in the Common Room immediately went mute. I could hear my heart racing. Although I didn't hang out with Millicent anymore, that didn't excuse the fact that I still cared about her. Analyzing the look on the girls' faces (especially Daphne), I knew something bad had just happened. Dropping my schoolbooks to the floor, I sped out of the Common Room, the crowd of girls following me.

I noticed there was one Ravenclaw in the bunch of Slytherin girls. Nothing could be worse than a Gryffindor, however.

Whoever it was (I assumed it was Mandy Brocklehurst), managed to run ahead of me and started to lead the way.

It seemed we've been turning through the corridors_ forever_ until we reached a gathering of students in front of the Great Hall. Worried; I shoved them out of the way and there, on the ground, was Millicent. Her eyes were closed but I could see that she was just knocked out.

"What happened? WHAT HAPPENED?" I screamed, demanding an answer. There was no possible way I could control my temper if my answer remained unknown.

Most students backed up as they saw my eyes bleeding with tears. Filled with sniffles that interfered with my speech; I glared at them and decided to speak calmly to be more persuading. "What happened?"

An unfamiliar Gryffindor girl spoke. As much as I hated Gryffindors; I let her off easily. At least it wasn't that _filthy Mudblood Granger_.

"Millicent...she...well, w-we were-"

_Ugh. I hated her already for not getting to the point._

"Care of Magical Creatures sort of got out of control, we were visualizing a few Fire Crabs and Millicent came too close...the creature started running after her and she ended up here before the Fire Crab burned her legs..."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I uncovered her legs which were covered by her robes - her socks were burned all the way through, and I'd rather not describe what I saw.

"...Where is the fire crab now?" I spoke; trying not to cry any more than I already was.

The girl hesitated to speak. "Hagrid took care of it." Moments later, Madame Pomfrey, Snape, and Professor McGonagall rushed to the scene.

"Miss Parkinson," McGonagall demanded in a sharp tone, "Please get out of the way." Madame Pomfrey followed, making her way through the students. "Miss Bullstrode will be spending quite time in the hospital wing," she murmured quietly to herself. They left carrying Millicent, away from me; and I didn't stop staring until she was completely gone.

Later that day, I refused to go to all my classes. They didn't allow me in the Hospital Wing, either - not after that dramatic event with Daphne Greengrass and her oh-so-important nose. I stayed on my bed all day, crying. Wondering if I was going to possibly run out of tears; I tried to tone down my crying.

Everyone else was in class. Draco was in Defense against the Dark Arts right now and I should be too. We had an exam today, but I didn't care. I didn't care if I would get in trouble for flunking. I didn't care if people weren't worth my tears.

Then guilt striked me. _How could I be so stupid?_ Really, did I really have to listen to that Madame Pomfrey? Still; I couldn't bring myself to leave the room - I was too weak. My best friend was dying, and I was just sitting there. The silence of the dormitory comforted me a little bit; keeping my anger inside of me, but I was tempted to let it all out when Daphne Greengrass came in.

"Oh, its you." She said, closing the door shut behind her. I was surprised she didn't use a sarcastic tone in her voice.

Remaining completely silent; I just gave her a glare and sunk my face back into my pillow, crying quietly. After a few seconds of silence -

"I know you hate me," Daphne remarked." Anyone can see that."

_Uh, no, actually Daphne, I've always been rather fond of you._ If only I could say that to her face, but I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't notice I was being sarcastic..

"Shut up," I snapped, not caring if my comebacks sounded witty. "You're the last person I want to talk to now. Now get what you need to get from here and leave."

Daphne crossed her arms and tapped her foot ferociously on the ground, then shot me that disgusting questionable look. "Excuse me, but you're not the one in charge of this dormitory. Nor of what I do in front of Draco either."

Excuse me? _Why was this brat bringing up Draco?_

"Draco has no business with _you and never will_," I said sharply. "You can be sure of that, Greengrass."  
As if I wasn't allowed to address her by her last name; she threw as much insults at me as she could. I saw that she was trembling.

"Well, why do you have to be so mean and partial? Am I not allowed to talk to him anymore? Just because you're engaged to him doesn't mean I can't talk to him - or even look at him - anymore, right? Right! Maybe he doesn't think I'm _that_ annoying-"

_Oh, sure, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he thinks of you._

"-And, maybe he, maybe-"

"Maybe he...?"  
Daphne stopped blabbering and reddened. I'm pretty sure I have won.

"...Gods, what is going on in here?" Spoke a familiar voice; enchanting me in every possible way.

Draco had burst into the Girls' Dormitory, looking exhausted. I assumed he had ran all the way here from Defense Against the Dark Arts; on the way casting the spell on the enchanted stairs.

I felt so ridiculous being caught, out of all people, with Daphne. She tried to put on that innocent mask when Draco had stormed in.

"Nothing, nothing is going on," Daphne began. "Pansy and I were just speaking to each other, Malfoy."

For some reason whatsoever, the way she used his last name rubbed off on me the wrong way. Actually, I didn't like the way she had ever used his name. This was our conversation; where did she earn the right to bring him up? It seemed that the arrival of Draco perceived Daphne that this, in fact, was the perfect chance to leave. Not wanting to upset her one-and-only-oh-so-beautiful guy of her dreams, she left. As I look back at this I knew I was being a self-centered brat, but that's how I was - _or how people knew me to be._

I ruffled my short bouncy hair a little and then stood from my bed. "I think I'll go to class now," I started, placing a hair band on my head. "I think I'm alright."

Draco gave me an amiable smile. "Great," he whispered in my ear." Let's go." He held my hand the whole way to class.

Once there, our teacher looked at us incredulously; most of of it piling up on me, of course. Everyone was staring; especially at the sight of us entering with our hands intertwined.

"Miss Parkinson, Mister Malfoy...who gave you two permission to leave class?"

We read each others' minds and knew that this was the perfect chance to go to our seats without getting in trouble. We released our grip, which sent me a little jolt down my spine; and sat down.

As our teacher was talking to Draco, I thought about a few things. Although I was painfully scarred about the incident earlier, I knew Millicent wouldn't give up on her life that easily. She was a brave, strong girl, and did absolutely anything to benefit from what she did. Perhaps I'll give her a visit sometime - when I'm allowed to. Besides, how many things can Pansy Parkinson handle at once?

The teacher approached me.

"So, Miss Parkinson, is there any reason you left during our lesson?"

I was still smiling, trying to completely abandon myself to my thoughts, but I was still listening.

"Oh, it was nothing. Sorry, I'll be on time next time."  
Everyone knew I was lying. Draco winked.

After all, the space between relationship and friendship required a leap of faith to survive, and never guaranteed a soft landing.


	11. October

_**October**_

You know how they say "Madame Pomfrey can fix things in a heartbeat?"  
Well, they were right.

Although it took only one day for Millicent's legs to heal; she still refused to be let out of the Hospital Wing. Itwas now the beginning of October, andMillicent stated that she would like to rest a little bit more to avoid the swarm of students asking questions.

"_Are you okay!" "What happened?" "Tell me everything!"_

Madame Pomfrey allowed only Draco and me to visit her because she knew we had the right to. The look on Daphne's face was completely priceless when she was banned from entering; scoffs and all. After that she scuttled away without a word.

Draco waited for me outside the doors of the Hospital Wing; for sake of privacy.

"Millicent, answer this completely truthfully…are you sure you're okay?"

Millicent beamed at me. "Yes, I am. I just need to stay here a little while longer."

"Oh...Okay…well, that's fine with me."

"I'll see you another time, Pansy. Don't worry about Daphne either; she's not fun at all. You're the only real best friend."

I smiled at her and realized I was trying to suspend my tears of happiness.

Madame Pomfrey approached us and said that I should be leaving. Before exiting the doors, I waved farewell to her; even if she already was sound asleep. That indeed was a brief conversation, but it meant a lot to me to know that her best friend was alright. I rapidly wiped my tears away, not wanting Draco to worry about me.

"So," Draco started; resting his elbow on my shoulder. "How did it go?"

I laughed. "She's fine…she wants to stay there a little longer," I held his hand. "Well…I might sound odd saying this, but are you okay too?"

He sniggered a bit. "Don't worry about me, Pans," he gave me an absolute embrace from behind. "You're the one to be worried about."

I pondered for a moment. "Really," I saw a group of Slytherin girls glaring in anger from the sight of us. Then, I turned back to Draco. "We have two months to know for sure."

"Can't wait," he whispered to me. We then walked to the Slytherin Common Room.

There was another thing on my mind; too – The first Hogwarts Annual Halloween Masquerade – was coming up.

It was clearly a short notice – just two days before the Masquerade. I however, was informed on October 30th. What was I going to wear? The end of October had finally arrived.

No one had to worry about dates and things like that. Although I really wanted to with Draco, we weren't intended to go with anyone. The thing was that we were to wear our Halloween costumes with a mask. According to McGonagall, you are to wander around and find a date yourself. Most would think that plan was completely simple; but the real challenge was you didn't know who they were. Whoever they might be, their true identity would be hidden behind the mask.

It was now an hour away from the ball; and I stood in front of my mirror. I had my makeup and hair done. Fortunately enough, I found a spare mask under the bed of Daphne Greengrass and decided to take it. It was quite stunning, actually – the mask was white with violet ribbons streaming from the ends. The other detail about it was that it only covered the eyes.

And as for my costume – I've had this kept somewhere in my belongings, but I've never worn it (who would wear a Halloween costume when it wasn't Halloween?) before. I'm not sure what it was _supposed_ to be, but it contained such an intricate design I couldn't help it. You can say it was like the Beauxbaton Girls' uniform, except that it was magenta and black in color and much, much more frilly. Everyone knew how I loved to wear frills. To top it all off, I wore striped purple and black over-the-knee socks with black heels.

Before I would head out to the Great Hall, I looked at the girl in my reflection once more. She wasn't recognizable. The slightly pointed hat concealed her shortsleek strands. The mask hid everything; and the colors just brought more out of her mysterious identity. Perfect.

Arriving in the corridors, I saw costumes of all kinds. I passed a cat, a sorceress, a mermaid, and other things that were unable to be identified as...well, anything. The fairy, however – anyone could tell it was Daphne Greengrass. Although her mask covered her full face, her pigtails just gave it away. What an idiot. I didn't even bother going over there and snapping at her; I preferred this night to be Daphne-wrath-free.

There was also another result that left me bewildered. Some girl wore a costume that replicated the ocean; a dress with a bell-shaped bottom with a pattern of waves. Her arms were covered with long blue gloves that had nets hanging from the tips of her fingers; little fish-shaped sequins hanging in them. She didn't look familiar to me at the moment with her turquoise mask covering half her face. She had long straightened brown hair and pinkish lips. Two boys accompanied her, one with jet black hair, and the other with ginger red.

Anyone could straighten their mane of bushy hair, right? As stupid as I was, I was convinced that the ocean was that Filthy Mudblood Granger. Potter wore dark blue sorcerer's robesand Weasley had on a werewolf costume.

It seemed sort of dumb, I know – but I wanted to kill some time looking at people's costumes. As much as I knew Draco, perhaps I might not be able to recognize him either. Let's just say that I was taking little detours.

Following Granger, Potter and Weasley – was a girl slightly shorter than the Mudblood. She was the exact opposite image of the ocean; her fiery red locks of hair seemed to go with her fiery dress. Her orange gloves had crimson smoke encircling them (I spell, I suppose) and she clung to Potter's arm. It was that Blood Traitor; _Ginny Weasley_.

It took me quite a while to actually arrive at the Great Hall; I was observing many costumes with awareness. I would much rather have surprise encounters with Draco than try finding him.

Some girls stopped dead in their tracks to stare at me; I merely ignored them.

Finally arriving, I proceeded through the familiar doors of the Great Hall. Like every year, there were floating pumpkins with various carved faces in the air. The bewitched ceiling had orange and black mist swirling around; thunder and lighting striking after every five minute interval. The room itself was pretty dim, but the eerie glowing cauldrons illuminated the place. (Can't you just imagine?)

I had no idea what to do. Most people didn't have a date yet; like me, they were wandering around. Briskly walking towards the punch table, I bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry, um-" I wasn't usually the person to apologize, but I didn't want to get into a clash now.

They turned around rather quickly and faced me. Whoever it was, they wore a long black cloak that covered absolutely every part of their body except their neck and chin. Their skin was pale and although they didn't reveal their face, I could tell that they were flashing a smile at me. Not meaning to sound obnoxious, but they had a familiar smell.

I had no reasonable explanation as to why I was so unthinkingly sluggish. "Hello there, Draco."

I might have seemed flirtatious, but what do I have to lose? It was Draco.

"Hey, Pans." He revealed his head by taking off the black pointed hood. His skin looked slightly paler than it usually was; I assumed it was the work of makeup to add on to his mystifying look. "What are dressed up as?"

I took my mask off and let it down on the table. "Oh, um…" My left foot hid behind the right. "Actually, I don't know. I've had this costume for a while now." Laughing a little, I picked up my mask and pretended to observe it. "Um…what about you?" I was pretty sure I didn't sound offending.

"Oh, this?" Draco grabbed his left sleeve and started flapping it around. I caught a glimpse of his Dark Mark, which, oddly enough, made me flinch. "This is fathers'. It's a Death Eater cloak."

Just to think that I would've been wearing one of those depressed me, but I didn't want to ruin the mood. "Oh, that's clever. But, wouldn't the staff be…um, concerned?"

Draco clicked his tongue. "Yes, I knew you would think about that. See, the thing is, Snape went up to them and kept telling them how 'it was just a costume'. It seemed that he persuaded them quite well. So, you enjoying the night so far?"

"Oh, me? Actually, I haven't really done anything yet."

"Well, I'm about to change that." He took my hand and escorted me towards the center of the Great Hall, where a crowd of students were jumping up and down for a reason I didn't know about.

It seemed, in fact, that the party of students were cheering for yet another concert performed by The Weird Sisters. Random outbursts and shouting emerged from the crowd. The lead singer took hold of his microphone and kept crying, _"Are you ready? Are you ready!"_ The students gave in and hailed more stronger and louder.

When they started to sing, I didn't move. The thing was, I could waltz and slow dance, but I couldn't - well, you know what I mean by _dance_. I mean like jumping up and down and screaming-your-lungs out kind of 'dance'.

Draco seemed to be having a great time, so I decided to join in, no matter how inexperienced I was at it.

I could see that Daphne had managed to squeeze through the swarm of students and raved next to who seemed Miles Bletchley (who didn't have a costume).

The ear piercing noises started to bore me, and I was desperate for some slow music. Straight on cue, "_Do the Hippogriff_" had just ended and another familiar tune, "_Magic Works_", began its familiar melody. I have to admit, this was one of my favorite songs. Draco and I had slow danced to this during the night of the Yule Ball - a perfect experience.

Remembering how nervous I was at the Spring Ball; I calmed myself down when he put his hand on my waist.  
I have never told anyone, no, not even Draco - but when I'm alone, I practice these kind of things. Just so I'll get better at it.

His feet moved so swiftly; I was amazed on how some people could really dance like this. He showed me those elegant movements that were presented at the New Years' Celebration. I don't mean to brag, but I was doing pretty well with Draco's support.

I started giggling. Especially when he spun me in the air and lifted me up which followed to a perfect landing.

Who could everbeas graceful as this? As nimble and as...as _charming_?

Following the dance we decided to stay outside for a while. Draco placed his hands over my eyes like a blindfold and guided me somewhere.

"Where are we going?" I whispered, moving my foot around the ground. "Draco, can you-"

"Ssh. It's a surprise. Now be careful, Pans."

I wasn't sure what he meant by 'careful', but I did find out. The path he seemed to be taking me went downhill and I could feel gravel grinding underneath my feet.

"Okay, place yourself there," he guided me and I sat down on some cold, hard surface. Where was I?

"You ready?"

"Yes, Draco, I am ready."

He removed his hands and I smiled at the scene my eyes displayed before me. I was sitting on a very familiar rock."This...this place!"

We were by the edge of the lake. There was a tree leaning over slightly, providing shade over the rock. I remembered this place. This was 'our spot'; introduced to me in my third year.The last time Draco had taken me here was after our dance at theYule Ball. I never had enough time to come over here myself and enjoy the scenery.

I scooted over a little bit so Draco could sit next to me. He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me closer; I decided to sit on his lap and experience the familiar feeling of caress as he stroked my hair. My giggling began for unexplainable reasons.

Our hands were indivisible and I examined the silver ring he always wore; and he examined my engagement ring.

"Draco, I love you."

"Love you more than words, Pans." He blinked slowly and I found myself being completely spellbound with those gorgeous eyes of his.

We started kissing afterwards. I don't know why I'mso different like this; most girls would prefer snogging - but kissing was fine with me. Or at least anything in between.

When our lips finally let go, I just cuddled him for a while; my head pressed against his chest. Although it was rather cold and windy outside, his Death Eater cloak kept me nice and warm. I could feel and hear his slow heartbeat as I laid there.

Love was giving him the ability to break my heart, but trusting him enough to know that he won't. I trusted Draco.

More than you can imagine.


	12. November

_**November**_

If a rose represents love, then why does it always die?

Was there no such thing as a happily ever after?

This was the month with the most anticipation hanging on to it; the month before we were to get married. Has some sort of sick, cruel fate come upon us? And why now? I didn't want to regret living. I preferred to laugh about us together than to cry over him. Why? Because laughing disguised the pain.

I knew nothing was going to prevent this to happen. I _knew_ we were going to get married. Our mothers, after all, approved.

Little did we know about what our fathers thought. When love comes along, tears never cease to follow. Draco and I had gotten permission to leave school for three days to settle things with our parents. It was the last day.

Although my father and Draco's father had married our mothers at the age of 17; we were banned to be wed.

Lucius was far too angry with Draco for his recent procrastination with the Dark Lords' deeds; it was presented to him as dishonor. Perhaps, in fact, we've been spending more time together than I thought we were. Draco begged and pleaded, but Lucius refused to let it happen. After all, how was Draco supposed to keep up with our relationship, serve the Dark Lord, and do a sucessful job in school all at the same time?

My father, on the other hand, trusted the Malfoys. But, to my surprise - he didn't have faith in Draco. Of course he knew Lucius was a wealthy, prosperous man, but he believed that Draco just wasn't good enough for me. Honestly, I knew he was just being unwise - he ran out of reasons and left Lucius to take care of everything. This was melancholy playing its twisted bitter moves on me. Maybe he thought my life was going through some obscene rush. _This Draco Malfoy is clearly not good enough for my Pansy_, he said. Lucius was not offended.

Draco and I were in his room at Malfoy Mansion. I sat on his black bed, taking in the familiar smell of vanilla, crying on his shoulder. He pulled me into a big embrace. It was remarkable how a single touch could ease me.

What made my heart grow heavy was that Draco, indeed, was crying too. I could feel his tears descend from my hair to my neck; to my arms.

"Forgive me, Pansy. This is all my fault," his voice was loud and clear although his weeping interrupted it every now and then. "Please stop crying. It only makes me more cheerless."

I sobbed harder. "I'm so sorry...if only I've shown my father your loyalty earlier, this wouldn't happen. No. No. It's not your fault Draco, I'm the one to _blame_-"

"Stop crying, dear. It shatters my soul." He began the accustomed manner of running his fingers through my hair slowly.

"I can't. Draco, I can't," my skin grew cold. "Why did this have to happen to us?"

He sighed instead of shrugging, and gave me a completely unexpected response.

"Lean closer."

I obeyed. My head was against his chest. His chin rested on my head. The feeling itself soothed me greatly.

His heartbeat was rhythmic yet monotonous. The slight vibration it sent hushed me completely and I listened to every word he said.

"We'll get married in December. I promise."

"But how will that happen? Our mothers have no power over our-"

"I promised you. And I intend not to break it.

Chuckling in means of curiosity, I looked at him directly in the eye. "Can you please tell me what you plan to do?"  
Draco nodded and gave me that delightful smile. He slanted towards me slightly and whispered in my ear.

_"Who cares what parents think? We're old enough to make our own decisions. Besides, since we're getting married at the school, our parents won't be there, right? They're too busy. Then, after that, we can live life by ourselves. You and me, Pans. Together we can do this, love."_

He did have a point. Although I realize that this was somewhat disrespectful to my parents' ideas, how could I deny Draco? I _wanted_ to get married, right? Right.

Later on that evening, Narcissa invited me to spend the night at their place. She was a strong, stalwart supporter of Draco and I getting married (along with my mother) so she tried to keep us together as many ways possible. My father and Lucius had opposed to this, of course, but Narcissa and my mother had quarrelled with them quite enough.

I asked if I could sleep in the guest room. No, she said. It was filled with old furniture and dust; she didn't want me sleeping there.

"Is there a spare room?"

Narcissa bit her lip, slightly smearing her blood red lipstick. "I'm afraid not, child. I don't think there is no other choice but..."

I didn't want to seem rude. "But what?"

"To sleep in Draco's room."

Nervousness had arrived into my system and I felt a lump in my throat. Once Narcissa had went downstairs to return to the kitchen, I went into the guest bathroom and changed into my lavender pajamas. I combed my hair until I was satisfied, brushed my teeth, and rinsed my face.

When I opened his door, I let only but my shadow creep in. Hoping the creaking of the door wouldn't awaken him, I remained completely silent. After a couple of moments, I was convinced that I could enter. I could see a small hill on his bed, meaning he was sound asleep under his blankets.

I planned to sleep on the floor, next to his bed, tucked in my sleeping bag.

The only thing was - I didn't have it. My sleeping bag. I must have left it at home...but panicking wasn't the answer. Squinting my eyes, I tried to scan his room in the darkness. A couch caught my eye.

Still completely soundless, I laid down on the couch, my head on a pillow. Why was I not comfortable? Actually, I was - it was just the fact that Draco was in the same room petrified me. Draco wasn't the kind of boy that just wanted to get in your pants. I knew that. I knew he loved me, and I knew that I loved him, but I had to make my own moves and think for myself.

Tossing and turning multiple times, I sighed and pouted. Clearly with no other choice, I walked over to the edge of his bed, looking down at Draco.

And how innocent and harmless he looked. He laid on his side, facing my direction, embracing a pillow. I found the sight quite pleasurable and I laughed quietly. How comely could one person possibly be?

I sat on the edge of his bed and started to swing my feet. I calmed myself down and I lost myself to the aroma of vanilla and grew tired.

Where else would I sleep? _Okay, Pansy, stop being ridiculous. It's just for a night. Tomorrow you'll be back in Hogwarts, safe and sound_. There was enough room for me to scoot in, so I placed myself there. I was trembling.

I couldn't help but let sleep take over. My eyelids grew heavy and I tried to close my eyes. But -

Two arms encircled my waist from behind, which completely woke me up. My body stiffened and I turned my head around.

The pillow had escaped Draco's grip and brought me into it. My head returned to its original place and I stayed there, breathing heavily but quietly. Yes, I was scared and my heart ran with apprehension.

But wait. I discovered my hand reaching down to where my waist was and wrapping them around his. The smile couldn't hold back any longer and it appeared on my face. I could feel one forming on Draco, too.

A soft and beautiful voice. He mumbles like a graceful lullaby.

_"Goodnight, Pans."_

Sleep found me again and cast a temporary spell on me. I yawned.

_"Goodnight, Draco."_

My eyes were finally shut. I heard the leaves of Fall swaying in the wind outside.

So maybe there was a happily ever after waiting for me out there - thanks to Draco. He took me to when a promise really was a promise; when a love song was a love song.

**Please give it some reviews. It really does helpme keep going.**


	13. December

(Here we go, December. The chapter we've been waiting for. Enjoy!)

_**December**_

The sound of the birds chirping, the white flowers, and the compliments went through perfect harmony.

The sunlight peeking through the window aroused me that morning. Leaping out of my bed I changed into my uniform and combed my hair. Once I was finished putting on my socks and shoes, I darted down the stairs. There was the familiar piece of white paper with a green border on the wall; the Important Events Calendar. I've seen it many, many times, but I had the desire to look at it again. There were red X's on each and every box that had passed, stopping at December 19th, meaning it was now the 20th. But I didn't put awareness to that.

My eyes revisited the box of December 21st. Recollecting this information tickled me pink.

_December 21st_

_Brunch will be served duing Breakfast due to an important event.  
_

_After Breakfast, all students are to attend their next class.  
_

_Everyone is to proceed to the Great Hall immediately and take their seats._

_There will be no lunch hour._

_All students are required to be present at the matrimonial ceremony of Ms. Parkinson and Mr. Malfoy._

_-Minverva McGonagall and Staff_

I screamed and jumped up in delight; causing a few people to stare. Most of them , however, knew how excited I was. _"Just look at her. She's so happy."_

Because, if I thought about it, this was my final day of being Pansy Parkinson. I would be a Malfoy now, but I knew that I would still have Parkinson qualities eclipsed deep inside me. Extremely high in spirits, I had no ambition to pick on Gryffindors today.

I noticed that I wasn't hungry, either. Although the toast and scrambled eggs presented on the long tables looked enticing, I didn't eat. As I strolled towards the Slytherin table, countless pairs of eyes were deeply focused on me, as if I was never seen before. Ignoring them, I arrived at my seat, sitting cross-legged.

Millicent arrived with her mouth open, probably as speechless as I was.

"Pansy! I'm so excited!"

I arose from my seat and gave her a hug, which felt very heartwarming. Once we relased, she held a small white pouch with a pink ribbon tied at the top, similar to the Engagement Rings' cloth.

"Millie, what's that?"

She chuckled in glee. "This, Pansy? This is_ exactly _what you need for the wedding ceremony tomorrow." She dropped it in my open palms.

I looked down at what laid in my hands, wondering how it felt with such a large shadow towering over.

"Come on, open it."

The ribbon was too dazzing that I didn't want to unwrap it. But I felt Millicent staring at me, waiting for me to hurry up, so I gently pulled on one end of the ribbon, causing it to fall down into my hand.

I looked inside the pouch and brought it out. Millicent was eager to see my response.

A silver necklace emerged from its prison, finally breaking free, and ended up in my astonishment. The peridots glistened in the sunlight and dulled into a deep green in the shadows. I longed to wrap it around my neck, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. "Thank you, Millie. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome!" Her grin completely enlightened me. "Put it away, now, you don't want it getting lost."

Just when I put the pouch away in my bag, two hands descended upon my shoulders. "Good morning future wife," he said. "How are you?"

_Future Wife. Stunning._

When I rotated towards Draco he planted a kiss on my cheek, causing me to melt. Clutching him like a doll I placed my hands on the small of his back. "Good morning Draco." His hand reverted to my waist and he pulled me down to sit next to him. With the available hand he took a pitcher of Pumpkin Juice and poured some not only into his cup, but mine as well. The luscious taste added on to my positive mood.

"Tomorrow's the day," He spoke, and I deteced a twinkle in his eye. "Excited?"

I swallowed another gulp of juice, clearing my throat. "More than you."

"Doubt it, Pans." We laughed.

Listening to Draco and taking a quick mind trip at the same time was simple. I looked over a couple of things.

I was amazed on how strong I've become ever since I've met Draco. How I could still stand under so much pressure with a heavy heart. You couldn't find the rainbow without going through the rain. And you definitely couldn't suceed in love without going through the pain.

The day shockingly passed by quickly. I would've thought the hours would pass by at a snail's pace, but when I laid down on my bed at night it only felt like a couple of minutes. Tomorrow was creeping closer.

So I let sleep and dream enchant me and take me to the impossible.

You're ready, Pansy. You know you are.

_"There you go. No, don't fuss with it, you look fine."_

December Twenty-First.

The privelege to miss class toned down my anxiousness.

I adjusted my necklace so that it was in view even through the Wedding Veil. Grace Edaneres, a friend of my mothers, had arrived to help me with my Wedding Dress. I wasn't rather fond with the fact that she wanted to tie my hair up in a bun. She wouldn't stop tousling with my hair.

"It's too short," I complained sourly. "The bun will fall off and my hair will-"

Grace silenced me by pointing her index finger near my nose. Her brightly painted nails, neon orange, matched with her red curly hair. "Shush. What are you talking about? You look absolutely stunning! The fairest of them all, like they say."

She couldn't prove it. Grace wasn't the one to prove if I really was that pretty. It was all the work of the mirror; magical or not. I twirled and faced it, slightly afraid of whatever the truth held.

Once I reunited with the mysterious girl in the mirror, I observed her carefully. Her veil hid most of her eyes. The lustrous, dark short hair was visible and contrasted to the fair skin. Her lipstick was a deep rose color and her cheeks were sufficiently pink. And as for her outfit - an antique white dress. Transparent sleeves partially covered her shoulders. Pale green borders flared from the edges of her long train. The silky white gloves started at the elbow and ended at the palm; revealing her perfectly chiseled fingernails. She stuck her foot out of her dress - white strappy heels.

"...Wow," I found it hard to believe that indeed, that girl was me. I've never felt so beautiful in my life. "I'm...overwhelmed."

Grace laughed in satisfaction. "I told you! Sweetie, you look_ amazing_. That necklace of yours really does add on to everything."

I lifted the veil so that my eyes still hid behind it, but were scarcely visible. My body danced in front of the mirror, exposing every angle of my dress possible.

"Thank you, Grace. Thank you so much."

She hugged me. "No problem, sweetheart. Now you go over there in ten minutes and make your mother happy."

I nodded. "See you later."

"Wait, wait, Pansy!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Yes?"

"You forgot your bouquet!"

"Oh. Okay, thanks." I said, taking it from her and giving her one final wave.

As beautiful and delicate as it was - the dress was slightly hard to move in when it came to going down stairs. But I've made it to the courtyard without tripping at all. Before heading towards the Great Hall, I wanted some time outside. Well, to have my own time. To prepare.

The wind felt extraordinary. My veil swayed in the wind in the opposite direction, allowing me to experience that appeasing feeling. At a fence by Hagrid's Hut, a whole bunch of daises poked through the narrow slits to freedom on the other side. The Black Lake sparkled with the sun's love. Oddly enough, seeing this lightened me up a bit.

But I had plenty of time in my life to enjoy this scenery. Now, I had to get to the Great Hall.

Once arriving, two men guarding the doors stopped me.

"Miss Parkinson, you are late!"

I stared at them incredulously, but I was obliged to explain. "I'm sorry about that, Grace took extra time. Are we ready?"

The other man placed his ear on the door and remained for a couple of seconds. "Yes, yes, go!"

The doors opened and I closed my eyes, taking my first step in. _This is it._

Everyone stood up from their seats and stared at me, enormous smiles on their faces. As I walked down the aisle - the aisle I've always wanted to go across - I spotted my mother and Draco's mother in the crowd. Even our fathers were there; I would think they would be angry at me - but they wore proud looks on their faces.

The little flower girl in front of me was Millicent's little sister dressed in pale pink. She strolled in front of me, occasionally throwing lavender and pink petals. I watched them fall on the ground so magnificentelly.

Continuing my way down and finally approaching the front - was the only person in the world I would give my life to. Draco.

He stood there with fascinating emotion. He wore a black tuxedo and shiny polished shoes. When I stepped on the platform, the organ player stopped his music, and all was silent. I stood next to him, facing the old priest.

"We are gathered here today..."

But I wasn't listening to him. Absorbed in the deepest dwellings of my mind, I thought about everything I've done with Draco that really meant something.

_Met him in our third year._

_Told Millicent about my crush on him._

_Our first fight._

_Rejected Daphne for sake of jealousy._

_Slow dancing._

_Had wonderful bickering fights about who loves who more. "I love you more, Draco." "No, I love you more."_

_My first kiss. His first kiss._

_Drinking in Madam Pudifoots'._

_Under the stars in January._

_Slept next to him in his room._

_Walked through my mothers' gardens._

_And, especially, the classic feeling of his hair stroking mine._

Life was never the same. Love was like a war - easy to start, hard to end, and impossible to forget. I would never forget my years at Hogwarts. Today was when I would finally move on; finally live my own life. But was I really ready for this? I knew I was a strong, tough girl - bad to the bone and good to the core. Both. That's another reason why being with Draco was so special - he still loved me even if I did have a calmer side.

Meeting him was fate, becoming his friend was a choice, but falling in love with him was completely out of my control. Everyone knew that no one was perfect - but love was all about accepting someone even with their imperfections. There were sides of Draco that only I, could ever see.

You would think he was this bitter. Only I really saw his sweet side.  
You would think he was always this thoughtless. To me, he was forgiving.

He was _the one_.

Nostalgia wrapped its arms around me and kept me there for a while. Out of nowhere I remembered something my mother had told me.

_"Pansy, dear, the best things in life are left unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream."_

Something I had to remember.

It made perfect sense but it also didn't.

_"Do you, Draco Malfoy, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"_

I snapped back into reality and my thoughts faded off to daydream about some other time. The priest and I turned to Draco, who I just noticed was holding my hand.

The moment of truth. The words escaped his lips.

"I do."

My heart skipped a beat and tears were coming their way. I tightened my grip on Draco's hand as in saying, _Thanks._

It was now my turn.

"And do you, Pansy Parkinson, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Before I made my statement - with my one gasping breath I put the regrets of the past behind me. I was going to cherish the present, now and forever.

"I do."

I felt Draco's hand say_ 'Thank you'_, too.

The ring bearer, an adorable little boy I didn't recognize, stepped up onto the raised platform. Rested in his hand was a velvet purple pillow, and a glistening golden ring in the middle; one diamond in the middle. The wedding ring.

Draco smiled at the child and steadily took the ring. He gave the boy a little nod and the child paced off the platform.

My eyes found his and I blinked slowly. I reached out my hand, allowing him to grasp it. His fingers touched my ring finger, raised it up, and let the ring slip down in place.

"I now announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

The only thing better than the kiss itself is the moment before it; when the look in his eyes left me completely breathless. This wasn't just an ordinary kiss from Draco, this was _the_ kiss. The kiss that would change everything. Hands on my shoulders, noses barely touching, lips firmly together.

And from that moment, I was known as Pansy Malfoy.

The audience arose from their seats and applauded. Our family cried and clapped more than anyone else. Once our lips let go and he picked me up - sweeping me off my feet. I laughed until my stomach started to hurt, but I enjoyed the feeling.

Millicent and Theodore were whistling and screaming in bliss.

Wondering what lucky individual would catch the bouquet, I threw it in the air, watching the tulips and petunias soar their way through screaming girls.

And it found its destination.

Daphne Greengrass. That lucky girl.

She was standing next to Miles, with a very happy expression on her face. She smiled at me and I could see her eyes radiant with tears. I smiled back. Although it _was_ Daphne, there was a room for everyone in my heart, wasn't there?. I gave her the "thumbs-up" gesture and synced, _Good Luck_!

Draco, still carrying me, walked swiftly down the aisle through the crowds of_ "Congratulations!"_.He too, was laughing himself.

Once outside at the main entrance of the school, the crowds trailing behind, a white roofless carriage with pink flowers awaited us. Two majestic horses and a horseman led it. The classic 'Just Married' banner hung at the back, written in deep red.

I got in the carriage first, instantly comfortable on the plush white seats. Draco followed, wrapping his arm around me, waving goodbye to the crowd.

I waved farewell to my parents; hot tears streaming down my eyes. I've never been more happier in my life. This was a _miracle_.

The horses started to move, and the carriage was slowly drifting away from Hogwarts. Taking one look back, I swung my arm in the air one last time, to my friends, to my family, to the world I knew so well.

We didn't speak the whole way, and that was fine with me. I was sitting on his lap and his hands were wrapped around my body, and we swung side to side every so often, like a boat at the open sea. The carriage had reached the plains of Hogsmeade, and we signaled the horseman to stop at a hill for a while. We walked up and sat on the top.

He spoke.

"Promises could last forever, darling. I didn't break mine."

So that was the end of the story of me, Pansy Parkinson - and the story of Pansy Malfoy was just about the begin. I hope that someday, if you haven't already, you will find your own happily ever after.

Trust me, you will.

**(Thanks for reading. The story is not done yet, there IS an epilogue coming up! Please review and tell me what you think!)**


	14. Epilogue

Hello, old friend.

Don't you remember me? Well, eight long years of staying in the attic and dust might explain things.

I am Pansy Malfoy, twenty five years old, wife of Draco Malfoy, and mother of Lucinda and Alexander.

So I've read through these pages rich with memories, and haven't shown them to my family ever since. I will know when the time is right; when the pieces of my past are ready to be exposed to others.

Eight years. Eight, long, fantastic years. How I long to return to that enchanted school that my children would be soon attending.

Draco has been a loyal, supportive husband. His sweetness from our teenage years has not faded a bit. Our Pureblood family has been well-balanced and we've been living in perfect harmony.

Lucinda, our six year old daughter, was the brains. Alexander, one year older, on the other hand, was the brawn. They both were attractive in physical appearance and learned from their mistakes. The _perfect_ children – or at least they qualified for that title.

Lucinda had her fathers' hair and my eyes, as for Alexander had the opposite. We were blessed with our young and the fact that the family name would last for quite some time.

After finishing our seventh year, we've decided to settle things once and for all. Did I mention that Lucinda was betrothed to the son of Daphne Greengrass, Nicholas?

Or, maybe I should say Daphne Bletchley, for that would be correct.

It seems that Miles had seen through Daphne's rough edges and fallen into her sweet core; marrying her the day after school ended.

Millicent wasn't married yet, but she was dating the one and only Theodore at the moment. There was a series of Happily Ever Afters, indeed.

Now, Draco was now a loyal Death Eater and spent his day following the Dark Lord. I, in contrast, didn't have a current career and remained home, taking care of the children and our mansion.

But all has been said. Enough has been uncovered, and I am to leave this in the hands of my own daughter. I believe the last few pages should be in her use. As for now, I think my family should lay their eyes on the words I have preserved.

Until then,

Yours truly,

_Pansy Malfoy_

_**August**_

Mother had recommended this book to me. Thinking it was a story book, I've read every single word of my mothers' past experiences. She told me that it would be a good thing if I was to learn from them.

I am Lucinda, eleven years old, and I am on the Hogwarts Express. This was the start of a series of amazing school years, or so my parents had said. After that they started kissing. I don't like seeing my parents kissing.

Anyways, back to the present.

I sat alone in my compartment, not even bothering to ask anyone to join me. My brother already had friends here and was in Slytherin. My family was excited about this years' Sorting Ceremony. I promised myself, and my family, that I would be put in Slytherin no matter what. If that promise was broken, I didn't know what I would do.

But that wasn't my main problem. After finding out that _Nicholas_ would be attending the school, I was disgusted.

Nicholas and I have known each other ever since we were nine. And such a prat he was! I didn't know if he got that from his mother or his father, but I'm leaning more towards Mrs. Bletchley.

Well, he was a Pureblood, just like me, so that toned down my complaining a bit. But still. I definitely wasn't for him, and he would never be a good husband like my father was to my mother.

_LATER_

So I am now in the Slytherin Common Room, yes, I was sorted into Slytherin. My brother and his friends were very proud. The happiness didn't last very long, because afterwards Nicholas sat next to me on the table.

Oh, and on the train – just right when I stopped writing, Nicholas had arrived and sat opposite of me. I asked him why he thought it was okay for him to sit here.

"Well, we're getting married, right? We should get know each other more."

Surprisingly I felt my cheeks turn red after he spoke, and apparently he noticed too.

"You're blushing."

For the rest of the ride I've been trying to throw insults at him, but I was never successful. He was far too good with comebacks and I found myself rather impressed.

I don't know what drove Mrs. Bletchley mad when my parents had agreed for me to be betrothed to him. There was a _huge_ difference in loving someone and being in love with someone. Well, let's say I loved Nicholas – not because I was _in love_ with him, because I had to.

He's been hanging around me too long, following me everywhere I went (the Girl's Bathroom was probably the only safety region for me). I don't have any real friends yet, but I do hang out with my brother and his friends. They're pretty nice, and I love my brother. He looks after me and thinks about my needs.

_NEXT DAY_

In-between classes I've noticed Nicholas following me. So I guess I would call him my friend, although this one girl in my Potions class teases me on how I'm dating him. Well, I would've thought people would think I was his girlfriend because I "loved" him.

Nicholas was snobby overall, but there were rare occasions when he was as sweet as can be. He helped me with my homework although I didn't need it, and I discovered myself coming up with incorrect answers on purpose just so he could correct them.

And he was good at flying. He wasn't in the House Team, but during flying lessons he topped the rest of the class; I'm sure he would be a great addition to the team. He even saved me from a terribly high fall once.

Oh, alright. So maybe I _am_ in love with him. A little.

_The end_

**(So that's it. I had a really fun time working on _Reminiscences_, and I hope you liked reading it. This isn't the end of the road for me, though - I will be writing more fics! Thank you so much for your time in reading, and I hope to hear from you soon!)**

**-Roanne**


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